ZERO

It seems you’re trapped inside a bee-hive, again.

“You could never hold onto your keys, could you?”

She said as she chuckled.

And so did you.

She marks your ticket as the train makes its way over this lead ocean.

The man next to you hasn’t stopped speaking.

You’re not listening, but if one more “in this day and age” story is told, you swear…

You wonder how much sleep is lost thinking about trying to sleep.

Each song begins to blend into one another after this many hours.

None of them relate individually, but collectively, they make you feel better.

Because that makes sense.

Yeah, it does, actually.

And that was it.

Because, no, it doesn’t make sense.

You deranged imbecile.

Of course it doesn’t make any sense.

That’s why you bought a ticket, though.

So stay up another hour or two.

You’re the reason I love losing sleep.

I still remember your touch.

And I’m realizing now that you’ll be my first love.

One day I will wake you, my darling, my dove.

For one day, you’ll be my first love.

Straight through the maze
Where the staircase bends as you’re racing
Look for a face in the window pane as it’s breaking
And stop at the edge and look down off the ledge
And you’ll see that it’s all in your head

Oh, my ghost came by here.
He said , “who do you love the most?”
“…who are you gonna sing to before you go?”

Everybody loves you.

Everybody loves you the same way that I do.

What makes me special?

When i was young
i needed it
when i was young
i’d feed on it

and that was my fault to not know how far down the hole i have fallen
it was all right with me

now that i’m old
i breathe for it
now that i’m old
i sing for it

and, oh holy ghost, how have i wandered so far from my home
atonement so clean, replenishing me

and this the day
i die for it
and i will rejoice
and be glad in it

and now i am shown the treacherous pains to become something whole
redemption that’s freed the burden from me
redemption so free discovering me

Glasses, no contacts.

Watch it rise up where you hide your pearl.
Feel the tide low where you cast those stones you wear.
When no one’s home, do they feel cold on your bones?
All the years I missed your warmth,
Have you missed my warmth on your island?

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to change. It’s not.

Fight until your knuckles numb up.

But please, don’t drop gloves.

Never throw fists at something beautiful.

And trust me, whatever you’re looking at…it is.

Bare-boned.

Eyes closed.

Cold teeth.

Never throw fists.

- - - - - - - -

Believe me, I wish this was more elegant.

I really do.

It just seems like this is the only way.

I mean, I know it’s not, but…

I just need someone to trust that it’s there.

It’s all there.

It’s marching.

- - - - - - - -

The problem is I always get it.

I always understand exactly what they say.

I’ll let you determine if there’s sarcasm there or not.

Frankly, I’m not sure which I’d prefer.

- - - - - - - -

You see, I’ve always been so concerned with every step I take.

You know, I’m pretty predictable.

…and you may never know how difficult that is for me to say.

It’s tough when you’re willing to die by someone else’s opinion instead of your own.

It’s not sympathy worthy, but it’s tough.

I’ll give you that.

I’ll give me that.

- - - - - - - -

I always seem to get stuck.

I have four wheel drive, but I always get stuck.

…I’m exhausted.

Four wheel drive, your car, exhaust - see what I did there?

Pathetic.

I’m as awkward and immature as my favorite TV sitcom characters.

Which I never thought would be a bad thing.

But seriously, this needs to stop.

So here it goes:

I need you.

That moment of embaressment when you realize you’ve slipped up on your words and you know they’re going to call you out on it.

That slow twist of the head that lets you know that you’re in deep sh.

That painful silence when you realize you have to figure it out on your own.

The wind on your back when you can take stride after stride.

Those are all reasons for me needing you.

But it’s not why I need you.

I need you because I care about you.

I need you because you make me so damn nervous.

I need you because I can do all those things you deserve.

I may not be good at half of them, but I’ll do them.

Hopefully the comic relief will fill in the rest, you know?

I just hope you need me.

I really do.

I’m not going to tell you if you do or don’t.

I just hope you do.

I guess, just remember I’m a work-in-progress.

I learn like the rest of us…only much slower.

I’ve thrown fists.

But you know bare-boned, eyes closed, cold teeth…

…try me.

Try me, now.

Maybe we could just be flowers in another world.

To the outside, the dead leaves lay on the ground for they don’t have trees to hang their own.

We’re all just animals, we fear what we don’t know.